Reason #1: I'm sick and tired.
When I was younger, especially in high school, I internalized the idea that keeping my mouth shut, not putting myself on the line, and being as invisible as possible would protect me from being bothered by other people. I was the target of a lot of crap from my peers when I was a kid. Blending in to the background (which is a lot different than fitting in) was my primary defense mechanism. It continued to be my primary defense mechanism for a very long time. In college and grad school, I was at least encouraged to open up and express my thoughts and ideas and I frequently did in places and spaces that I knew were safe and supportive.
I realized over the years that blending in wasn't working for me. It was making me anxious, angry, cynical, and distrustful. As a feminist, I felt like a hypocrite when I'd see discrimination and inequities in action, but couldn't bring myself to speak up or act against them. Keeping everyone around me happy was detrimental to my own happiness and wellbeing. I'm sick and tired of holding back and questioning the value of the contributions I make to the world. I strongly suspect that a lot of other women feel the same way.
Guess what? In that "controversial" Facebook post? I made a lot of really good points that I backed up with logic and reason and evidence. I have expertise and credibility in media criticism and analysis. I put myself on the line in a way that I could defend and justify. I stand by everything I wrote.
Of course, putting yourself on the line opens you up to a lot of criticism and negative attention, especially when you're a woman. Which brings me to...
Reason #2: Stereotypes and gendered microaggressions MUST be called out.
The people commenting on my post went to the well of gender stereotypes and microaggressions very quickly. The first was mansplaining. If you're not familiar, mansplaining is when a man tries to explain something to a woman, or prove her wrong on an issue, about which she has more knowledge, experience, or expertise. Amy Gray, in The Guardian, notes that this is done patronizingly and with the assumption of ignorance (http://preview.tinyurl.com/pyd4mf6). This frequently happens in discussions about gender and the experience of gender discrimination or inequity. While not coined by her, most people credit the development of the concept of mansplaining to Rebecca Solnit's essay "Men Explain Things to Me" (you can AND SHOULD read the whole essay and some of Solnit's additional thoughts about it here: http://www.tomdispatch.com/blog/175584/). Mansplaining is exhausting for women. It makes me feel like I should just stop talking because, "why bother?" And that right there is why it's such a problem. When that "why bother?" feeling overtakes the desire to stand up for myself, I am complicit in my own silencing.
Among the many other problems with the responses to my arguments were attempts to frame my points as being anti-male and as "yelling and screaming" about my "personal tastes." These are classic examples of things men say to shut women up. Number one, I am a heterosexual woman who is married to a man. I have many respected and loved family members, friends, colleagues, and even mentors who are men. I am NOT anti-man. I do not think men are "ew" as one commenter accused. What I am is anti-sexism and anti-misogyny. By the very nature of sexism and misogyny, they are most often perpetrated by men against women.
As for the "yelling and screaming" thing...this is one of reactions to women's voices that makes me the angriest. Have you ever noticed that when a woman has a strong opinion and states it with authority and conviction, she's frequently labeled as "shrill" or "unpleasant" or even "bitchy"? Calm, reasoned arguments are framed as screaming and being hysterical or crazy. The examples in popular media are legion. There are so many excellent studies about this very issue written by scholars in communication. This came up very recently in a widely discussed study of class evaluations written by college students about their professors (see more here: http://preview.tinyurl.com/pl5ebtd). It happens and it happens ALL THE TIME. Women are frequently socialized to believe that they have to be nice, and that nice means coming across as friendly, approachable, and sweet. So, being labeled shrill or bitchy or any other synonym for those words is another technique for silencing women's voices. Men aren't generally talked about in negative terms when they're opinionated and outspoken. Instead, men are described as "good leaders," "powerful," "strong," and "smart." I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I've been called a bitch by men who want me to stop talking. Students, acquaintances, even a family member have hopped on board the bitch train. I cannot be shouted down by these reactions, because then I give that method of silencing credence.
Which brings me to...
Reason #3: Celia and Eleanor.
My little daughters are a major part of why I won't be shouted down. I want to equip them with the knowledge that their voices, opinions, and ideas have value. That they matter. That they can change the world just by being themselves, to paraphrase the great and wise Amy Poehler. How can I accomplish those goals if I allow them to see me being silenced by ignorance and misogyny? They're extremely lucky to have a father who believes that they and their voices matter, but what about outside of our home? I believe that seeing me be powerful and hearing me use my voice to enact change will help them realize their own worth and power. They are far too important for me to act otherwise.
There is really so much more I could say. I could discuss why I'd go to the mat over beer (trust me, it matters). I could write about the psychological effects of being systematically silenced. I could write for days about sexism and misogyny in craft beer and brewing. For now, though, I'll leave it here, knowing that I'm probably going to have to deal with another day of people telling me I'm wrong, it's not really that bad, I'm making too much out of it, etc.
This is why I hate arguing with you...I have to look up words, like cisgendered...and learn stuff. Ugh, it's exhausting.
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